


A Week in Japan (Yurio's diary)

by Hikari_Yumeko, lalunaticscribe



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: But Yuri doesn't understand, Diary/Journal, M/M, Sexual Tension, So Yurio's on nerves, Victor just wants love, Yurio POV, coarse language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8540632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikari_Yumeko/pseuds/Hikari_Yumeko, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalunaticscribe/pseuds/lalunaticscribe
Summary: Day -1:

  He’s stupid! Good grief, but he's stupid! I can’t believe it: the five-time World champion, five-time winner of the Grand Prix, Olympic medallist and living legend, is so stupid as to post on his social media accounts a picture of him in front of Hasetsu Castle without thinking for a second that we now know that he’s there. Yakov is going to yell, but now that I know where he is, I'm going! Victor that bastard owes me a choreography, then he’s going to make it for me, and I'll bring you back here pronto!
But for Yurio Plisetsky the week he will have to endure in Japan before returning Victor in Russia will be long. Very long...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Une semaine au Japon (Yurio's diary)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465554) by [Hikari_Yumeko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikari_Yumeko/pseuds/Hikari_Yumeko). 



> For the sake of translation, Viktor and the Japanese Yuuri's names are spelled as Victor and Yuri (for some odd reason). I corrected Yuuko's spelling, because I assumed that Russian Yuri would have paid attention to that.
> 
> I formatted the arrangements to make it more readable too!
> 
> It's my first time translating a long fic, and I never studied French literary conjugation, so please give me a critique!
> 
> \- LLS

******Day -1** :

He’s stupid! Good grief, but he's stupid! I can’t believe it: the five-time World champion, five-time winner of the Grand Prix, Olympic medallist and living legend, is so stupid as to post on his social media accounts a picture of him in front of Hasetsu Castle without thinking for a second that we now know that he’s there. Yakov is going to yell, but now that I know where he is, I'm going! Victor that bastard owes me a choreography, then he’s going to make it for me, and I'll bring you back here pronto!

_*Note to self: do not forget to drop off the cats at Mila’s place._

* * *

**Day 1:**

Maybe I could’ve done better to stop Victor’s bullshit yesterday. I fell for this beautiful tiger t-shirt I spotted in Hasetsu, and posted a picture of it on the social networks. Without thinking that the location would be indicated. Result: Yakov gave me a two-hour scolding for taking off to Japan without telling him.

But I do not care. I got hold of Viktor and I avenged myself on this moron of the other Yuri (So satisfying when I sent him flying across the room and crashing like crap against the counter!). Although, there’ll be a minor setback, and I'll have to spend a whole week in Japan for the damn contest. But being away from Mila is a holiday (and, old hag, if you’ve taken this book, put it down now or I’ll chuck my army of bloodthirsty felines in your face! Who knows, maybe it’ll give you a little facelift?).

Victor made us listen to the music he had selected for us... and is he taking the piss out of me, or what? He seriously expected me to dance to _this_? It's cutesy, it's corny, it's boring, it’s a song for a girl or a little virgin like Yuri (although he might not stay that way for long, since Victor admires and clearly aims to fuck him in bed. Even then, that’s not about happen because the other’s about as dumb as a brick).

I refused. It did not work, Victor refuses to give in because he “always tries to surprise the audience”, and all that crap. Bastard. He just wants to piss me off, believe me.

But if I want to bring him back to Russia, I have no choice.

This week is going to be long...

_*Note to self: go for a walk to the market during my stay in Japan, they still had two or three pieces that’s not too ugly._

* * *

**Day 2:**

Yuri's sister is starting to freak me out, it’s almost scarier than Mila.

(Mila yes, sorry for you to learn, but you're scary. Especially when you apply you that green mask for your complexion. Imagine the face you wear while you lift me with one arm: you would look like the Hulk. If you got that upset, I'm sorry, and you have only one thing to do: put this book back where you took it).

She spends her time giving me star-struck looks, just because I look like a fucking member of a Japanese boy-band! She even wanted me to dance and sing one of their bloody stupid songs! I’d rather die, yes!

(And no, Mila, even if Victor was there and tried to give me the teary puppy-dog look – it’s so ridiculous, I'm not sure how it works with so many people – I have not given in. You cannot blackmail me with that, heheheh!)

I really wonder why had I come here, they’re all completely crazy: between Victor who spends his time wandering around half-naked (in a _yukata_ that constantly slips off, particularly when a _certain person_ is in the vicinity) and refrains with difficulty from jumping Yuri’s bones, and said Yuri who does nothing in response (when a guy insists all fucking night to wash and sleep with you, what’d you think it means, asshole!?), the mother who finds me too skinny and is obviously trying to fatten me up for Christmas, the father who just looks burnt and completely washed-out... I think the only sane being in this mess is Makkachin.

This is far from reassuring...

_*Note to self: remember to lock my door every night before going to sleep, you never know what that groupie might try to do._

* * *

**Day 3:**

Start of new training. Victor still sent me to the temple to get hit by a Buddhist monk. His little sadomasochistic side (because I'm sure it is), he can keep it! Or he can do it with Yuri, I'm sure that for him, as it is Victor, anything goes!

Though no, I absolutely refuse to see it, it's just too icky. Victor already checks him out and gives him more-or-less subtle allusions ( _less_ than _more_ ) and they throw glances at each other thinking that they’re discreet (yeah my ass! Even this pain in the ass Yuuko now passes half her time on the edge of the ice with a handkerchief pressed to the nose instead of holding down her receptionist desk!) already makes me want to puke, then...

Otherwise, I don’t think I could have laughed so much than when Yuri exclaimed in the middle of the meal that he’d found his Eros: the Katsudon! Not only it was just hilarious (because with his love handles it's still very piggy, this bastard), but I've never seen anything so funny that shocked Victor so much (although he still recovered in the end). Just for that, I don’t regret coming to Japan!

*Note to self: remind Victor at least ten times a day for the next ten years that he’s got less sex appeal than a pork dish.

* * *

**Day 4:**

I sometimes wonder, between Yuri and Victor, which is the bigger idiot.

I have big doubts, because Victor might very well multiply his innuendos and physical contact, Yuri did not look too hard to get-

(fuck, at training Victor spends his time ‘correcting his position’ – AKA fondling him! – and he almost stuck his hand up that ass! Fuck, what more does he need to get it?! A marriage proposal or what?! What if the Japanese are all like that!? I seriously fear for the population of the country will face in a few years with a real shortage of people)

-but I think Nikiforov wins.

I came across the ‘odes’ to Yuri lying around in his room.

(no, Mila, I'm not a voyeur, all Victor had to do was not leave them hanging around like that. Even if the papers were stashed at the bottom of his suitcase. Then, old hag, you're badly placed to get them if you still haven’t put the book back and you’re still reading this. I certainly stashed them well)

I do not think we can call it poetry. I do not even think we can describe it as such – it escapes all human understanding.

 _“Your black eyes make me capsize_  
_Let me feel your Eros_  
_And make you vibrate to the depths of your bones_  
_Because I dream only about grinding you.”_

I think I'll throw up.

And the worst is, this is the least awful of the lot... if Yuri gets his hands on it, I really fear for the future of their relationship ....

_*Note: Please do not invest later in the Japanese economy. With a future demographic crisis in anticipation, not that profitable._

* * *

**Day 5:**

I take back everything I said yesterday.

Yuri is by far the most stupid of the two. He is so dumb, he should be in the Guinness Book of Records. He came to me while I was relaxing quietly in the warm water of the hot spring (the only good thing in this damn country, up with their Katsudon and the T-shirts) with red cheeks and an embarrassed look (Nothing that should have already warned me of the urgency to get out of there as quickly as possible) to ask if, in my opinion, Victor could well love him. If he had a chance or just imagined it.

I...

I'm outta here. It's just not possible, I'm surrounded by idiots.

I returned to Russia.

I went back to St. Petersburg to train with Yakov, even if it means having to undergo his sermon for hours and endure Mila’s nagging.

(Mila yes, you read that, you're a nagging old hag. And put this book back right now!)

I really could not stand one more minute. Damn, but it's not possible to be so stupid!

Only positive point of the day: after this idiot drove back from the waterfall

(but why ask us to do that, it’s training for martial arts! Or was that idiot Victor just looking for an excuse to see Yuri wet, he can already do that in the hot spring...)

I think finally have get how to dance Agape. Even if I'm royally opposed to it now that I'm going to shoot myself.

_*Note to self: before leaving, quickly go find a little souvenir for Mila, otherwise she’s going to flip her shit for days (you see, at least I thought about it!)._

* * *

**Day 6:**

Or not.

One day.

I still have to endure one day before Hot Springs on Ice. There is no way I’m breaking off and leaving Victor here, the bastard still owes me a choreography. Twenty-four hours isn’t that long. I have endured their bullshit for six days, I may as well endure one more. And if I left now, Mila will keep pissing me off without end.

(Don’t deny, you know I'm right. And for the last time, put this journal back where you took it!)

...

I stand corrected.

Twenty-four hours is a long time. Very long. Too long.

Especially when you have a horny bastard who sprinkles barely implicit phrases in all his words-

(We feel your impatience starting there, huh Victor?)

-and that his love interest is just as silly and hardly seem to begin to realise it. I miss St. Petersburg, my cats, even Mila.

(I said almost, Mila, don’t get excited. You're always so boring, ugly and old. And it was just to give you an idea of the level of my despair)

Finally, all this will be over in... a little over twelve hours, and Victor will return with me.

_*Note to myself: drop one of Victor’s ‘poetry’ in Yuri’s office. That way, they’ll finally jump each other and we’ll finally be rid of all the fucking sexual tension beating down the air for days! If it does not work, locking them in a closet. And lose the key._

* * *

**Day 7:**

I give up.

I can _not_ compete with Yuri. Not now anyway. I have not watched his performance to the end, I pulled back because I already knew the outcome. So make of me what you want Mila, I’m done.

I thought I had left quietly, because it was out of the question to see the two idiots for the last time-

(Even if they would have been quite wrong to notice my departure: one was on the ice, and the other was literally devouring one with _his_ eyes)

-but Yuuko grilled and came to meet me outside me. For a pain in the neck, it's not so bad, you should hear yourself.

(Although I hope you will never meet, it would be just hell for me if you go both).

And I certainly do not want to be there when Victor can’t endure it anymore and finally jumps on Yuri.

(Which, considering how Yuri was completely on just now and that Victor almost salivating at the sight, is imminent)

I refuse to be awakened in the middle of the night by their squeaky bed, panting, Yuri groaning Victor’s name and begging him to go faster or god only knows what. I do not want to risk surprising them in full make-out in the bathroom.

(They obviously haven’t realised that it’s a public place, anyone could surprise them there, including kids!)

So no, it's better that I leave quickly before they finish traumatising me for life...

_*Note to self: do not delete/block Yuuko’s number. At least not right away._

**Author's Note:**

> Translated Author’s note:  
> At each episode, I fall a little more in love with this magnificent series. And even if I have a weakness for Yuri and fall completely before Victor, Yurio is just lovely (although he’s so good, I’m afraid I might have gotten totally killed here) and I really like the relationship he has with Mila (because everyone’s excited for the Victuri but Yurio and Mila’s connection on and off the ice definitely isn’t bad either). And yes, the third-last sentence is indeed an allusion to the bath-scene in Episode 3 (and the poor kid’s eyes is hidden by adults).
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to comment/kudo! :)


End file.
